When We Found a Home

We are finally mostly settled in! The last few days have been a whirlwind trying to find a safe apartment for a good price, get things we need to live, and figure out this whole living-in-Nanjing thing.

Finding an apartment has been quite the adventure. The Flagship office wanted us to use a realtor, so we were introduced to one and she started to show us houses. We were expecting to pay much less than we would in the US, but found that for where Flagship wanted us to live (close to campus in Nanjing), this would not be the case. We were shown place after place with one (or not even one) bedroom where they were asking for more than we paid for our 2 bedroom apartment in Provo! After backing out of one deal and secretly switching realtors on an apartment we looked at with our first realtor, we FINALLY found a place!

Should we live here?

Or in this lovely brick house?

What about a 50-story building? (This is really where we live.)

Welcome home!

Let me tell you. This placed seemed pretty nice when we looked at it. The next day, though, we brought our things in and Jaren left for school. That’s when I almost had a meltdown. It smelled like dog, I couldn’t breathe in the bathroom, and it was dirty dirty dirty. I sat with Miss A on the plastic covered mattress, scared to move or touch a thing.

I don’t know if this is a “Chinese thing” or just our luck, but the apartment had not been cleaned at all before we moved in. We’ve spent the last three days scrubbing, sanitizing, and bleaching. Although the bathroom still has a distinct odor and our dog hair couch is covered with a blanket, it is starting to feel like a home. I can even let Miss A play on our floor now.

Would you like a tour?

Here is our kitchen with TWO electric burners (that we can't figure out how to use) and a microwave (very uncommon in a Chinese home)!! The counter doubles as our table and we must share the one stool.

Our little washing machine (no more waiting until we have absolutely nothing left to wear before doing laundry for me!)

The walls are painted green and there is clear, plastic panels covering them.

Our living room...

Doubles as our dryer and an extra bedroom. The couch folds out in to a bed, but we are hesitant to sit on it even with the blanket covering it.

This is also in our living room-a little refrigerator.

A real shower!! (unlike many of the places we looked at where a nozzle sticking out of the wall=a shower)

The blue water hides the grossness left after hours of bleaching and scrubbing. It is much better, but I still plug my nose the ENTIRE time I am in the bathroom. We have noticed that certain times of the day are better than others. I might need to keep track of that and plan my bathroom visits accordingly.

Our bedroom doesn't have a door, but it is around the corner. Miss A hasn't had too much trouble sleeping at nap time.

Our bed that makes my hips hurt it is so hard (but we haven't had any trouble sleeping so far so no complaints!)

The lovely view from our window. If you look down you can see some trees, along with trash strewn on the beams from our neighbors' windows.

AND the place where Miss A will now get a full night's sleep!

China's Lessons Learned

First Impressions:
-The people are not as different as I had expected. They are people like you and me! (surprise)
-There are many unfamiliar smells. Even the cigarette smoke smells...different.
-The highways may look like ones in a big city in the US, but don’t be fooled. Driving here is different. Either our cab driver ran a million red lights, or I just don’t understand the light system!
-Breakfast=dinner
-I am freaked out about the water. Taking a shower was difficult as I tried to keep all water out of my mouth, brushing my teeth was almost unbearable, and I sanitize my hands after I wash them. I’m probably being crazy, but my germ-phobia kicks in when I think about my toddler and the baby growing in me. How do I wash dishes here???

Things to remember:
-Hand sanitizer. Use it.
-I was dreading the plane ride, but it really wasn’t too bad. It was long, but the plane was so big that I didn’t feel like I was keeping everyone up when Miss A would cry a little. She was a champ!
-Take every chance you get to walk around while on the plane. Potato chips + holding a baby for 13 hours= no good (and swollen ankles for me!)
-Ask for water every time drinks are brought by. Just thinking about H2O is making me thirsty!
-Don’t put toilet paper in the toilet. Just don’t do it. With Mister trying to get some sleep and our baby wide awake because of the time change, I worked helplessly to fix a toilet that just kept flowing and flowing and flowing.
-No matter how impossible it may seem, you CAN use a squatter toilet. Just don’t forget your own toilet paper.


The story:
There are many good, kind people here and God watches over us. We left for our trip at 7am Thursday and our plane arrived in Shanghai at about 6pm Friday. From there we went through customs, got all of our luggage, and crammed into a taxi. The taxi driver told us there was a train station with a fast train still available (we had planned on going to a different station and take the slower train). A 1 1/2 hour trip to Nanjing sounded great to us! We went there instead only to find out that there were no trains to Nanjing until 9am the next morning. Mister had orientation starting at 8:30am. Our other option was to take a 1 hour subway ride to another train station and then take the 4 hour train to Nanjing. That would get us to Nanjing around 5am. We tried to figure out what we should do as we stood with our 7 huge pieces of luggage and our tired baby. Only minutes later, a young man came up to us and started talking to Jaren. There was a bus (like a greyhound) full of people headed to Nanjing and they had room for us! This meant not hauling our bags everywhere and a much quicker ride to Nanjing! It was a little more expensive to take this route, but oh so worth it. What a blessing that out of the hundred of people in the train station, this young man talked to us and that there was room for us and our things. We made it to the hotel before 2am and two kind men helped with our bags.

Hallelujah! We are here! Mister is at orientation and I am sitting in our hotel room because it is raining and Miss A is asleep. (These are not excuses for not being out in the city exploring already, right?) I am surrounded by kind people who I do not understand and very thirsty for some water--but so happy and excited to find a home and be here with my wonderful husband and sweet baby!

I promise to post more pictures, but for now these will have to do.

Miss A's makeshift bed. She finally slept through the night because of this baby!

We are in the airport-leaving for China. Even now it feels so surreal! If we survive the 20 hours of travel with our 13 month baby then you will hear from us again soon.

Let the adventures begin...

Irresponsible or Just a Little Brave?

We are leaving for China in 3 days. It's hard to believe and quite surreal. When we tell people we will be living in China for a year the same thing happens almost every time:

-They look at me with wide eyes
-They look at our 13-month-old
-Then, they give us "the look." This look is one every mother tries to avoid: the "Oh my, there are no words to express my disapproval of your parenting choices" look.
-Sometimes, to emphasize their disapproval they ask a question or tell us something crazy about China like "people there just hold their babies over the side of the road and let them pee" or "watch your baby closely, they will try to steal her!"

Our son at 19 weeks

Then they find out we are also expecting to give birth to our second child while there and the disapproval beams turn on full-force.

We have many supportive friends and parents, but sometimes the strangers' opinions start to get to me. Am I being an irresponsible parent by choosing to have a new baby and by trying to raise two children in a foreign land? Am I being unfair to Miss A by bringing a new member into our family so soon after she was born? Can I do this???

When I get overwhelmed with all of the opinions I have to stop and remind myself of why we made the decisions we did. Mister and I gave this decision much thought, research, and prayer. It was not made quickly or unknowingly. Here are some of the reasons for our decision (mostly for my reference for when I need reassurance that I am not crazy!)

-We do not want our children to be born too far apart. If we waited until we got back from China, Miss A and our second child could be 3 years apart.

-If we waited just a few months, we would not know where in China we would be. It could be in a place where there are no Western-style hospitals.

-We have great insurance right now.

-There are accredited, great hospitals in and near Nanjing that use Western medicine and English-speaking doctors.

-We have been counseled to bring children to the world: "Perhaps the most familiar and most important examples of unselfish service and sacrifice are performed in our families. Mothers devote themselves to the bearing and nurturing of their children. Husbands give themselves to supporting their wives and children. The sacrifices involved in the eternally important service to our families are too numerous to mention and too familiar to need mention"  -Elder Dallin H Oaks, April 2012

-Women have and still do give birth in much worse conditions.

-I felt impressions to do so. This is the most important one to me. While studying the scriptures I read about when Lehi's family is traveling through the wilderness and the Lord strengthens the women so that they can bear and provide nourishment for their children. This made me think of pioneer women who did the same thing. As I thought about these strong women, I was comforted in knowing that if it is God's will, he will support me.

Very soon after we had made our decision, our pregnancy test came back positive. This was yet another confirmation to me that our decision was the right one. So many things could have prevented us from getting pregnant, but they didn't.

I know that our little son, due Decemeber 25, 2012, is meant to join our family now. It may be a challenge to be pregnant in a foreign country, and maybe even harder to give birth and have two children in China, but with the Lord's help we can do all things.

Goodbye California

What an adventure we have had these past few weeks! We spent time with the McPherson extended family at our annual reunion and then traveled with my family to California for a week full of fun.

After a night of games in our little cabin, we headed to the main cabin for breakfast.

Miss A LOVED playing with all of the children and babies. She only took a break when I snuck away to the swing with her.

Mister playing at the water with some of the kids. We also had kid Olympics and a fun girl activity.

All of my siblings love Mister. I wonder why...

Our Saturday night activity was Minute-to-Win-it games. After smack-talking my cousin, I got beat. Aunt S started to cry because I lost. So competitive! Definitely not from me.

My dad and Mister. competing in the Oreo game. They had to move 3 oreoes from their forehead to their mouth without touching it. HI-LAR-IOUS. This was such a fun night!

We have "church" services as a family on Sunday. Talks are given and family members share testimonies. This was a lesson for the kids about how we can follow Christ's light. I am so grateful to have the guidance of the gospel to help me be the best parent I can!

Our family (missing CW)

CALIFORNIA

We rented a beach house right across from long beach. The weather was warm and the water great!

Resting and enjoying our first day at the beach house.

Miss A with Aunt JM. She loves all of her aunts and uncles!!

In Disneyland!! (missing dad and CW)

Meeting Tinkerbell!

It was really hot. Miss A handled it like a champ, but is not so happy here. The wait for Peter Pan's flight was worth it though. She also LOVED It's a Small World and the Jungle Cruise.

Princesses! Miss A slept through the whole thing, but Aunt S got pictures with almost all of the princesses and was in HEAVEN. She waved and acted like a princess for the rest of the day.

Our little family. What a fun two days this was!

We spent the next day at Huntington beach where the older kids practiced their boogie boarding skills and Miss A ate a lot of sand. She loved the water, but was a little scared of the waves.

The last day of our trip everyone but the babies and moms went to the sand dunes and played on the Razors. Overall it was a fun and very tiring trip! We love our McPherson family and are so glad we got to spend so much time with them this summer.

We're excited to be with our Knighton family for the next two weeks before leaving for China.