Chinese do Girl Talk

Example #2: I am no Chinese host.

We have very friendly neighbors. Getting to know them a little has helped me feel less secluded and alone while mister is gone all day.

The neighbors across from us have a little girl who is almost 2. Her parents work and her grandparents take care of her ALL day. Her grandpa knocks on our door every few days to say hello to Miss A.

The neighbor next to us is our age. She works during the day and studies with her boyfriend at night. She wants to get in to an MBA program in the US so she likes to come over and practice her English. She is so nice.


I really love our neighbors, but there is a problem. Navigating the social world of the Chinese is a lot like talking to a girl.

-A girl will say "Are you hot?" and she means "Please turn on the AC."
-A girl will hint at something she wants and hope you get it.
-A girl will sometimes simply expect you to read her mind

In the Chinese "language" there is rarely an action that is not designed to get a specific reaction. So, what is my kind neighbor expecting from me when she brings over some food she has made? What is the real meaning behind the words "oh, my English is not good."?? What should I do when our neighbor gives Miss A an orange???

Maybe I'm too aware, but I kept feeling like I should reciprocate...with no idea how to do so the right way.

Then, we (mostly Mister) had a brilliant idea.

"Let's invite our neighbors over for a lovely American dinner!" we said.
"This will be a great way to give back for the kind things our neighbors have done for us!" we said.


I spent the day preparing chicken crepes (my mother-in-law's delicious dish). Without an oven, I had to plan perfectly so the meal would be warm just in time. A few minutes before 7 o'clock (and a few minutes before I had everything ready) our neighbors came in.

They dropped off a cake.
They left.

We got the table set and sat down expecting them to be back in a few minutes.
We waited.
and waited some more.

At 7:45 they came!
With enough food in their arms to feed us all. Wasn't I supposed to be feeding them??

This is what was left of the delicious food they brought over. I was too frazzled to remember to take pictures before we ate. :) Also--the crepes were eaten. They told us it "tasted like KFC".

We thoroughly enjoyed ourselves, but definitely didn't "pay back" for all the things they had previously done for us.

Orange (our neighbor's English name) and her boyfriend with the beautiful cake they brought.

What am I to do now?? I guess I need to learn--as men all over the world have:

Sometimes, even when you try, you just don't get it right.