Ps and Qs

If you sat in one of the street restaurants or listened to a conversation between two people in China, you might get a sense that the people were not taught their manners when they were cute little Chinese children.

-People yell at each other often: from across the street with everyone stopped and watching to right-in-each-other's faces. Since I don't understand Chinese I can only assume they are fighting (which sometimes they aren't, just having a lively discussion). When Mister is with me he usually confirms that they are indeed fighting.

-People spit--on the street, on the bus, on our building floor.

-People eat and talk. At. the. same. time.

-People tell me I am a horrible parent. Not in those exact words, but the message is clear. Sometimes I don't even have to have Mister there to translate to know that they are getting on to me. (I'll expound on that one later this week.)

-People cut in line and squeeze into spaces that have no room (elevators, buses, etc.)

-People HONK all of the time. These days it wouldn't feel like home if I didn't have a scooter, bike, or car honking at me from behind every few seconds.

The thing is, I am constantly worried about being perceived as rude here. It's not that the Chinese don't have manners or social do's and don'ts, they are just very different. Emphasis on the very.

-In American I feel like we laugh when someone trips or does something mildly embarrassing. They usually laugh at themselves and all is well. Here I have only laughed once and felt horrible afterwards. You do not do this here. There may be times when it is appropriate, but I don't know when they are so I  just keep the giggles inside.

-You don't say thank you. It makes people feel uncomfortable. I am very bad at remembering this one.

-When you are complimented, you should deny the compliment and say that you are horrible. You should be humble to the extreme. I heard that even if their child is complimented for being smart, a Chinese parent will deny it and say they are dumb. (I am also bad at this one and often say thank you.)

What a maze it can be for someone who is unfamiliar with the customs of a foreign country! Thankfully, the Chinese people are very generous and open minded when it comes to a foreigner like me who is stumbling through the Ps and Qs of life in China.

Sorry Miss A, this is probably not an acceptable way to eat dinner in America or China.