Things People Say

I was a little concerned about living in a place where I would be surrounded by a language I didn't understand. There definitely have been some adjustments, but having people talking around me and not understanding what they are saying hasn't been nearly as bad as I thought.

Sometimes it even has its advantages.

We might get more comments than the average foreigner since these cuties attract so much attention!

*Most of these have been said to or about our family; a few are our friends' stories.*


-You need to put socks on that baby! (without fail, if we leave the house and Miss A isn't wearing socks, we will hear this at least 10 times.)

-She's only wearing that and she's not cold?? (x100)

-Look at their noses, they are so big!

-Don't let her walk on the floor with bare feet. She will get sick!

-Too close, too close! (when speaking of how close together our two children will be)

-You are too independent.

-You are too confident.

-She is so chubby! (Yes, our 30th percentile baby)

-Her head is long. You need to make her sleep on her back.

-While we were on the street, a lady ran up to us with a little advertisement for a nutritious drink. She explained to Mister that it would be good for me to buy it so I could lose weight (not realizing I was pregnant). haha.

-There are many times when Mister isn't with me and I can tell I am getting comments like these. Disapproving looks and shakes of the head are not very discreet. It is a lot easier to smile and keep moving when I don't know exactly what is being said, though. :)

We made sure she had socks AND shoes on this day, but still got comments about her shorts. :)

Oh, the things people say!


**It is very normal to speak freely about appearance. There are other things that Chinese would never say, especially not in front of others. "Fussing" over what a baby is wearing if often a way to show that they care rather than a comment on my parent skills.**

How can you get too offended when you are interacting with happy people like this all day?

Liver Lovin'

Last night I ate liver. Or at least tried to.

I'm sorry to give you such a visual, but it helps you feel like you're in the moment with us, right??

You see, we had an appointment with my doctor this Monday. He did an ultrasound of the baby--everything is looking good! Our little boy is about 2 pounds already and the doctor thinks his real due date is December 23rd.

I also had some blood drawn to check my blood sugar levels, etc. The results were mostly good, but I am indeed anemic. My doctor, who we love, told me to eat liver, heart, and kidney. He said the best way to get the iron I need is through food, not supplements.

So there we were at the wet market, deciding on what meat to get for the week when we saw it.
Liver.
It was less than a dollar for a pound. I couldn't justify not getting it when it was so inexpensive, supposed to be good for me, and right there staring us down.

As soon as we got home I put it in the fridge, trying not to think about actually cooking the thing. With a plugged nose, I cut it up, fried it, and added it to our stir fry. Being the great mom I am, I let Analie try it first...

It doesn't look too bad, does it?

she LOVED it. Seriously. She ate it better than any meat we've tried to give her. I figured that must be a good sign, so I took a little bite (with lots of rice and veggies). I couldn't keep it down. It was probably mostly in my mind, but I couldn't. I ended up swallowing a few pieces like pills and then gave up. (Mister came home later and also ate it like a champ. He said it was good as long as he ate it with a lot of other things.)

What am I to do? I don't think I can do it again! I know I need to increase my iron, but I doubt this is the way. Any delicious, iron-filled ideas would be helpful. :)

I should've know she wasn't a reliable source. This girl will eat anything! Especially now that she's walking all over the place!

Ps and Qs

If you sat in one of the street restaurants or listened to a conversation between two people in China, you might get a sense that the people were not taught their manners when they were cute little Chinese children.

-People yell at each other often: from across the street with everyone stopped and watching to right-in-each-other's faces. Since I don't understand Chinese I can only assume they are fighting (which sometimes they aren't, just having a lively discussion). When Mister is with me he usually confirms that they are indeed fighting.

-People spit--on the street, on the bus, on our building floor.

-People eat and talk. At. the. same. time.

-People tell me I am a horrible parent. Not in those exact words, but the message is clear. Sometimes I don't even have to have Mister there to translate to know that they are getting on to me. (I'll expound on that one later this week.)

-People cut in line and squeeze into spaces that have no room (elevators, buses, etc.)

-People HONK all of the time. These days it wouldn't feel like home if I didn't have a scooter, bike, or car honking at me from behind every few seconds.

The thing is, I am constantly worried about being perceived as rude here. It's not that the Chinese don't have manners or social do's and don'ts, they are just very different. Emphasis on the very.

-In American I feel like we laugh when someone trips or does something mildly embarrassing. They usually laugh at themselves and all is well. Here I have only laughed once and felt horrible afterwards. You do not do this here. There may be times when it is appropriate, but I don't know when they are so I  just keep the giggles inside.

-You don't say thank you. It makes people feel uncomfortable. I am very bad at remembering this one.

-When you are complimented, you should deny the compliment and say that you are horrible. You should be humble to the extreme. I heard that even if their child is complimented for being smart, a Chinese parent will deny it and say they are dumb. (I am also bad at this one and often say thank you.)

What a maze it can be for someone who is unfamiliar with the customs of a foreign country! Thankfully, the Chinese people are very generous and open minded when it comes to a foreigner like me who is stumbling through the Ps and Qs of life in China.

Sorry Miss A, this is probably not an acceptable way to eat dinner in America or China.

Take the Good with the Bad

How do you feel about history?

I've never so much appreciated the dates and "facts," but I love to think about the people and the lessons hidden in between. I love trying to apply those things to the present.

We can make our own choices and learn from our past, or just continue with the traditions of our ancestors (both helpful and harmful). Either way, we are influenced by our past--our history.

Nanjing has done a little bit of both. Much more than some of the other big cities in China, Nanjing's historical culture has been preserved. Shanghai and Beijing are on the coast and easily accessible to foreign influences, while Nanjing is surrounded by other cities.

This makes for a very neat place to be a part of. It also is the reason we have had more to get used to. (No one speaking English, little children peeing on the street, etc.)

Mister gets to take a Nanjing History and Culture class as part of the Flagship program. They take the students on six field trips to historical sites in Nanjing. Miss A and I went along on the first field trip this weekend!

This has really helped us to appreciate living here and to be more understanding of the people and their "way of things."

On the way up. It was so nice to be out of the big city--surrounded by nature and fresh air!

We, with hundreds of others, climbed 300+ stairs to the Sun Zhong Shan Mausoleum. 

Oh how we love the lion statues!

We climbed all of these with our two babies!

Can you see the big city in the lovely smog??

Helpful: Sun is known as the Father of China. In 1911 he led a revolution that kicked out the last emperor. His dream was to turn china into democracy. 

Helpful: Sun is known for his political philosophy including his three principles of the people:  livelihood, democracy, and nationalism. 

Harmful: It seems Sun kept many of the traditions of the emperors, abusing his power and expecting the people to worship him.

Our second stop: Ming Xiao Mausoleum--made for the first emperor of the Ming Dynasty and his wife. These are remains from 600-year-old buildings.

The dads getting their workout!

Helpful: There is great symbolism in how the emperors are buried here. The first emperor was buried at the highest point with each succeeding son buried lower than the last. Even in their burial rituals, the people respected their ancestors.

Helpful: Some say the Ming Dynasty was a great era of orderly government and social stability. China's agricultural base was strengthened and there were some positive changes to the social classes.  

Harmful: Over 100,000 people were killed due to the rise to power and rule of the Ming Dynasty. The first emperor was very suspicious of others trying to overthrow him so he created a secret police and had many executed.

The last place we visited was the front entrance to the Ming Xiao Mouseleum. The entrance is guarded by six different animals (four of each).

Harmful: Hundreds of people were made to work on the Mausoleum for the emperor and his wife. At one point, the emperor wanted to have them move the mountain, but I think he realized that might be asking a little too much. :) While the leaders often had good intentions and helped in some ways, they also abused their positions. China is still working its way out of the effects of this oppression.

Helpful: Beauty was appreciated and created here. The statues were meticulously created and the area carefully chosen. It is located right in front of the purple mountain, surrounded by delicious smelling flowers, and has excellent Feng Shui. :)

What a fun, tiring day!

On this Sabbath day, we are especially grateful for the helpful, uplifting traditions of our fathers. This was our first week traveling an hour to get to church, but it is so worth it. What a blessing it is to have a Savior to follow who's "traditions" are perfect.


"All that we call human history--money, poverty, ambition, war, prostitution, classes, empires, slavery--[is] the long and terrible story of man trying to find something other than God which will make him happy." -C.S. Lewis

Communication Before Elimination

If you walk down the street in our neighborhood you will most likely see quite a few little baby bums peeking out of slits in the back of their clothing. When the child needs to "use the bathroom" he is held out at arms length and just...goes. Some parents have even trained their child to go at the sound of their whistle!

**This is actually a "modern" potty training technique catching wind in the US called Elimination Communication.**

It is usually not a problem, but there is only so much you can do when a baby has got to go! I buy most of our produce from a nearby little market. It is a little room with one aisle and produce on either side. I was in there with Miss A one day when a mother and baby came in and started talking to us. All of the sudden the mom started making funny sounds and, before I knew it, I heard a trickling on the cement floor and felt a little splattering on my feet. Thankfully she didn't just stay right there, but moved outside quickly.

I shall never see that little produce shop the same, though--or any floor for that matter!

Thankfully this potty training technique isn't so popular that we can't find diapers!

In other news, I am 26 weeks along and doing well! I'm working on getting enough iron here, without my daily dose of raisin bran or other cereal (I don't know how I'm surviving without it!). My other usual sources of iron are not readily at hand, but I am figuring things out. My doctor is on vacation so I met with another doctor from Japan. He told me I need to be "more fatter" next time I see him. :) ha. That is nice for a pregnant mama to hear!

26 weeks with a very busy boy in here!

A Day Trip

I think we could get used to this place.

This past weekend I took a bus all on my own to teach English. Although I overpaid by quite a bit (I was nervous about not paying enough and holding up the line), I made it both ways. What an accomplishment! When there is a choice, I definitely still prefer to be with Mister

especially when we are taking this wiggly one around

or when the bus looks like this. I kept thinking there wasn't even one more inch of open space--and then 10 more people would get on!

 I had a doctor's appointment in another part of Nanjing so we decided to make a day out of it. We searched for some authentic Nanjing-style food (a piece of fish chopped off a block and cooked right there--hmm not exactly what I had in mind), watched a friend in a break dance competition, and went around the shops at the Confucius Temple.

Our walk was green and beautiful!

The competition was in the center of a huge mall. People were watching from every floor. 

There were some pretty cool moves going on. Our friend made it to the final four!

The entrance to the Confucius Temple and the shops. Can you see Pizza Hut and Haagen Dazs? 

We took a break in Haagan Dazs and shared some ice-cream while Miss A slept. SO worth it. 

Shops. Mister is a talented haggler! 

When we see a statue like this, Miss A likes to growl at it.

We didn't go into the temple this time, but plan to soon. 

Can you see how beautiful and fun China can be? It is nice to get out and enjoy these beauties rather than focusing on all of the hard changes we're making and the sometimes gross things we see/smell in our everyday living. There is much good here, too!


There are a lot of things to love about this place. The thing I am growing to love the most, though, is the people.

Mister got this picture while standing in a line for food. Miss A and I were waiting in the shade. Look at these lovely people! I understood very little of what they said, but sure did feel their love.

It's hard to capture all of the people. There were crowds and crowds in this open area by the temple.

This man was crouching down to get Miss A to smile. Maybe wanting us to buy a balloon, but mostly just because he was great.

She is signing "please" here. Please can we go home?

What a good, long day!